Some couples sizzle while others fizzle why?

Researchers are doing research on no-sex marriages for clues that is going wrong in relationships. In a survey they found that married men & women enjoy sex with their spouse 58 times a year, which is more than one a week. Married couples under the age of thirty years enjoy sex with their partner about 111 times a year. Even it is also found that 15 % of married couples had not sex with their spouse for six months to one year.

Professor Donnelly , associate professor of sociology told about some facts about no-sex marriages which help you to understand the reason of why sex leaves the marriage.

1. Is sexless marriage is becoming more common? : You just hear more about it. Back in days before reliable birth control, only way to limiting family size was having a sexless marriage. Those were also the days when women were not supposed to enjoy sex. They often use it as a bargaining tool in their marriage because they were socialized to do so. They wee more likely to stay together because of social expectations.

2. Marriage becomes sexless or sex fades : Some of people never had much sex from the beginning , while others identified a particular time after which sex slowed or stopped. Like after childbirth. . Some people become accustomed to their spouse, bored even & sex slows. For others, it is the demands of raising a family, establishing a career & mid-adulthood. They may have some sex with their partners to begin with, but it becomes unimportant to them even though not so unimportant to their spouse.

3. Sexless married couples less happy than couples having sex : Happy couples have more sex & the more sex a couple has, the happier they report being. But keep in mind that sex is only one form of intimacy & some couples are fairly happy even without sex. It was also found that people in sexless marriages were more likely to have considered divorce than those in sexually active marriages. There is no ideal level of sexual activity. The ideal level is what both partners are happy with and when both are unhappy, then they can have marital problems.

4. Rekindling Martial sex : For some couples, it may be as simple as a weekend away from the kids, taking a vacation or cruise, or just having some time off, alone. Others may need help in re-establishing communication & may seek professional assistance. The sad fact is that there are few counseling professionals that deal with this issue. Often, marriage counselors focus on other aspects, rather than sex. While these other aspects may play a big role in sexual inactivity, talking explicitly about sex is essential.

5. Sexless couples are more likely to get divorce : People in sexless marriages report that they are more likely to have considered divorce & that they are less happy in their marriages. It may be that lack of sex is a signal that all intimacy in a marriage is over & that both would be happier in other situations. This may not be a popular idea with the religious & political right, but it may be a better solution than staying in a marriage that is hurtful and unfulfilling.

These situations are just so complicated that each couple has to examine their specific histories, motivations & goals. It is worth for couples to work on putting sex back in the marriage. It can be a difficult task & require that people take emotional & physical steps that aren’t comfortable for them.


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